Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Follow-up to bad MFM appt: Office manager called today and apologized profusely. She reassured me that I would not have to see that woman again and that there is no excuse for a Dr, let alone a MFM, to call a baby damaged.

She also hinted that this Dr would not be invited back to the facility, as she is being brought in from the East Coast to help out with the large caseload.

I was in tears after the call, but it was because I felt like I actually mattered this time and that my boys would be taken care of. One day at a time....

Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Anatomy Scan post-appt from Hell.

So Wednesday, we had our a/s. All went well with the scan and the sonographer did a great job keeping us informed. We joined Team Blue and all was good... next thing I know, we are meeting with some kooky MFM that I didn't realize was part of the practice.

She starts out by asking DH all kinds of questions when I am in doing my urine sample. He is getting all flustered. I walk in and she says, " So I see we are just now taking over your care...?" Uh no, I have been with you guys since the end of Sept. Dr gets more scatterbrained from there. She starts asking about how Sophia died. Why did she die? What caused it? Blah, Blah Blah.

The whole time I am thinking 1. How are my boys? 2. Read my damn chart. 3. Is this really happening? I said something to the effect that I don't want my pre-e s
ymptoms to be overlooked this time, as I present abnormally. And she replied that even if they would have taken the baby early... babies born before 30 weeks are damaged. YES, you read that right... damaged. She fucking told me that my daughter would have been damaged. I told her at least she would be alive. I also told her that I disagree completely as I have a sister born at 24 weeks who is a very healthy 22 yr old today.

I finally got her to change the subject and she nonchalantly mentions that the BABY is measuring a week behind, which is in the normal range. I had to ask her if the other one was ok, and she looked confused. I then explained to her that I was indeed having twins and were both of them behind... "Oh, Oh, Uh, Yes... " Que up mistrust and fight or flight feelings....

Needless to say we didn't trust a word the woman said all appt. I called my NP to ask her to go over the u/s and a Nurse called back saying all looked normal, but my NP would call back and answer more questions. The Nurse sounded horrified. I also asked not to see this MFM ever again.

Good gravy, I could have killed that woman. If you made it this far, thanks :) The boys seem to be just fine :)

Carrying on the Name

As Grandpa R put it, "The "R" name will carry on!"
2 little R boys are happily sumo wrestling their way into the World.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

A BIG week

This Wednesday, we have our targeted ultrasound, otherwise known as the anatomy scan. To say we are excited is an understatement. To say I am terrified, is also an understatement. I have been quiet the last month, while things have been good. I have been sick as a dog most evenings, but I try to take that in stride. To be honest, it has just been quiet.

This past week, I have started to dream of losing the babies, or one baby. I am trying my best to stay positive, but I am finding there are moments where it is all but impossible. I am worried for the babies I feel everyday. I find myself counting the weeks until I am at the most crucial of points in the past. Today, I am 19 weeks, which in my weakest moments puts me only 10 weeks away from devastation. I don't know if you can understand that if you have not been through a late loss.

Tyler has been wonderful through all of this. His arms are my safe place and I don't know what I would do without them or him. I am truly lucky when it comes to my life partner and family.

On another note, I did have my baseline EKG come back abnormal. My follow-up was this past week and I now know that I have a slight heart murmur and 2 leaky valves, with no need for further treatment. Can't be easy ;) 

Will try to update more the further along we get. Here's to hoping...