A BIG week

This Wednesday, we have our targeted ultrasound, otherwise known as the anatomy scan. To say we are excited is an understatement. To say I am terrified, is also an understatement. I have been quiet the last month, while things have been good. I have been sick as a dog most evenings, but I try to take that in stride. To be honest, it has just been quiet.

This past week, I have started to dream of losing the babies, or one baby. I am trying my best to stay positive, but I am finding there are moments where it is all but impossible. I am worried for the babies I feel everyday. I find myself counting the weeks until I am at the most crucial of points in the past. Today, I am 19 weeks, which in my weakest moments puts me only 10 weeks away from devastation. I don't know if you can understand that if you have not been through a late loss.

Tyler has been wonderful through all of this. His arms are my safe place and I don't know what I would do without them or him. I am truly lucky when it comes to my life partner and family.

On another note, I did have my baseline EKG come back abnormal. My follow-up was this past week and I now know that I have a slight heart murmur and 2 leaky valves, with no need for further treatment. Can't be easy ;) 

Will try to update more the further along we get. Here's to hoping...