Sunday, November 11, 2012

A BIG week

This Wednesday, we have our targeted ultrasound, otherwise known as the anatomy scan. To say we are excited is an understatement. To say I am terrified, is also an understatement. I have been quiet the last month, while things have been good. I have been sick as a dog most evenings, but I try to take that in stride. To be honest, it has just been quiet.

This past week, I have started to dream of losing the babies, or one baby. I am trying my best to stay positive, but I am finding there are moments where it is all but impossible. I am worried for the babies I feel everyday. I find myself counting the weeks until I am at the most crucial of points in the past. Today, I am 19 weeks, which in my weakest moments puts me only 10 weeks away from devastation. I don't know if you can understand that if you have not been through a late loss.

Tyler has been wonderful through all of this. His arms are my safe place and I don't know what I would do without them or him. I am truly lucky when it comes to my life partner and family.

On another note, I did have my baseline EKG come back abnormal. My follow-up was this past week and I now know that I have a slight heart murmur and 2 leaky valves, with no need for further treatment. Can't be easy ;) 

Will try to update more the further along we get. Here's to hoping...


  1. Can't wait to hear your happy news!! Good luck not worrying about it. Try to stay busy :)

  2. Hang in there. I understand how you feel. Praying all will be well at your scan, and you will go full term with your twins. Do you have a doppler? That seemed to help me get through the pregnancy with a little more sanity than I would have had otherwise.